your room smells of hookers.
And success
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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