my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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