Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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