he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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