You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
