You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
