hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize