i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize