I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
