he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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