I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
