i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Blow job season was short but glorious.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
