Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He better not be in your backpack
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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