I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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