The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize