Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
