Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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