A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
