i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
