Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
