It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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