Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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