i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
