He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
