what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
