Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
