We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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