yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
