It's just like the Real World with babies
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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