Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
