areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
