how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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