I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
