My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
