I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize