I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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