Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize