Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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