I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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