Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
