So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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