I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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