i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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