mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
