is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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