i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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