I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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