Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
