Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
