We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
