You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
