Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
