Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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