I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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