i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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