she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
