fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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