glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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