I'm gonna have a badass scar
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
