Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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