can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
